If we were taught mindfulness as kids

I did this 10-minute “self soothing” meditation this morning.

This part of the meditation struck a chord with me:

“While growing up many of us never had the proper tools or guidance to deal with difficult emotions. We never learned to understand our sadness or anger. We weren't taught how to calm our anxiety or soothe our frustration. Instead, we learned to distract and avoid, to tune out unpleasant feelings with numbing, sometimes destructive, behavior.”

It struck me how fundamental to our society this is.

Imagine if we were taught mindfulness as kids.

When we cried, screamed, or misbehaved, our parents guided us to notice our emotions, acknowledge our emotions without judgment, and name our emotions with “I am feeling … “ statements.

But what do we learn instead?

“Go to your room.”

“If you behave you get candy.”

“If you don’t behave I’ll take away your toy.”

“If you don’t stop that right now you’ll get a spanking.”

We have adults who don’t know how to emotionally regulate raising kids with their own poor emotional regulation habits, which were probably taught to them by their parents with poor emotional regulation habits.

As a result, we learn to distract ourselves from our emotions and avoid our emotions. Worse, we learn that we will be ignored, abandoned, or even physically harmed because of our emotions.

I’ve heard that a significant amount of the trauma you carry into your adult life comes from your childhood.

What if we just had less childhood trauma in the first place?

When people talk about being ready to have kids, they talk about having enough money, having a big enough house, and living in a good neighborhood with a good school system.

But what about your mental and emotional health?

Have you worked through your own shit?

Or are you going to continue the generational cycle of trauma?