It helps to take breaks when writing
This afternoon, I was stuck while writing an essay. I had written something that wasn’t true. I wasn’t lying on purpose, but I had told a version of the story that wasn’t the truest version.
I think we do this in our heads all the time. Something happens to us and we tell ourselves a story about why it happened. But these stories aren’t always true, especially if we’re able to protect our egos by lying to ourselves—by denying our own agency in bad things that happen to us, for example.
I had written the essay based on one of these lies. Once I realized it was a lie, I wanted to go back and change it to the truth. But the problem was that the essay was completely constructed around this lie. Like the essay’s beating heart, the lie couldn’t be removed without killing the essay.
And this is why it helps to take breaks when writing.
I had been ignoring the dryer beeping for a while. But I was stuck on my writing anyway, so I got up, went into the laundry room, got my clothes, and started folding them. I hadn’t even gotten through sorting out my socks and underwear before it occurred to me—an idea for how to perform the complicated surgery.
I went back to my desk, cut out the lie, and sewed the essay back up beautifully.