Remote work is changing how we experience community
We used to go to church and that was our community. Then we became secular.
At some point, we started to rely on the office for community. We were friends with our coworkers.
But it's much harder to establish deep relationships with our coworkers when we're all working remotely. People are pixels on screens and sound waves from speakers. You don't actually get to share physical space with them.
The current solution is to establish community online. Companies do this for their internal employees and for their external users.
I'm going through the job search process right now and many of the companies to which I'm applying are "remote-first." They offer coffee chats and trivia nights (but these events are remote, i.e., on a computer).
Companies like Discord, Lunchclub, and Clubhouse try to build community online. They seem to be getting closer to succeeding than the social media alternatives, but still: the best they can do is optimize human connection that is ultimately limited to text, audio, and video.
Some argue that the internet has us more connected than ever before. To some extent, I agree. For example, I can FaceTime my grandparents who live in Florida while I'm in Denver. Before the internet, the best we could have done would have been to exchange letters via snail mail. FaceTime is certainly a richer sensory experience than writing letters.
But even though the internet might have improved long-distance communication, what about short-distance communication? What about connecting with the people who live in the same city as you? Are people more likely to stay at home and sit on their computers, settling for online forms of communication, instead of putting on pants and going out to meet other people in real life?
If remote work becomes the new normal, I think we will start to feel a sense of lack in our social lives. Maybe I'm biased by my own dissatisfaction with on-screen interactions. I know some people are homebodies and are willing to accept degraded social interactions with their coworkers in exchange for a remote-work situation that allows them to spend more of their time at home, while still making a living.
One factor that influences a person's preference in terms of remote work is their family situation. If you live with your spouse and children, you might already have ample opportunity for human-to-human social interaction inside your home and, therefore, you don't necessarily need interactions with your coworkers to fill a social void in your life. On the other hand, single people who are stuck working alone in their studio apartments would prefer to have the option to go into the office to work in the same physical space as their coworkers.
This is part of why we've seen an exodus from cities. During the pandemic, there was less to do in cities. Not only were you stuck inside your apartment during the workday, but you also didn't have the outlet of going out to the bar (or any other non-socially-distant, in-person experience) after a long day working alone inside your apartment. So people moved out of the cities to more rural areas where they could at least do socially-distant outdoor activities. Will this trend reverse as social-distancing mandates are lifted?
It seems likely that remote work is here to stay. In the short term, some people will feel lonely and isolated. But I think this will create an opportunity for more authentic community over the longer term. Instead of settling for easily available community with coworkers, where will people turn to satisfy their social appetites? Will we start families sooner? Will we go out to the bars more often?
The best relationships are formed based on shared experience. For me, my best relationships have been formed based on the experiences of school and work that I've shared with classmates and coworkers. But school is over and I work alone on my computer, so what experiences do I share with others now?
The "sharing with others" aspect of that question is secondary. The primary aspect of that question is this: what experiences do I share with myself? In other words, how do I spend my time? Community starts with myself. I am in communion with myself. Community must start on this personal level before it can be shared.
This applies to something I've realized about dating apps recently. When you meet someone on a dating app, you try to find something that you both have in common. If you decide to go on a date, you talk about your common interests or you actually go out and do whatever it is that you both enjoy doing. But this is backward, isn't it? Wouldn't it be more efficient to just go out and do the things that you enjoy doing and then meet people that way? Because then you'll know automatically that you have something in common because you're both there doing it.
And this is a much better situation than meeting someone at work because work is rarely the part of a person's life about which they are most passionate. So, if you meet someone at work, you'll have it in common that you both work at the same company, but that won't necessarily be a solid foundation of common interest on which your relationship can build.
In conclusion, here's my theory for how to build community: A community is a group of people who are in relationship with one another. Strong relationships are built on shared experiences. Therefore, in order to build a strong community, people should gather to have shared experiences.